Healing Arts

Cup your hands and fill them with water. Feel the cool sensation against your skin and notice how your hand curves gently to cup the water. Bring your attention to the sensation and the experience of the water seeping through until your hands are simply wet but no more water is contained within them.

It is a handful of water, filled with sensation. You can hold it for a moment, perhaps more…but eventually it will seep through your cupped hands leaving an impression of wetness and a memory of it having been held there.

If we draw our attention to holding on to the water, we may miss the sensation of the wetness of our skin and the soft way in which our palm gently curves to gather it together. Our attention will be drawn to the way it seeps away, noticing how it becomes less and less until it is no more.

The moment is like water cupped in our hands. It will pass and leave us with a memory of a sensation. And no matter how much we try to hold on to it, it will not remain constant or unchanging.

And yet, we try so hard to hold on. To the feeling we get when our child looks at us needing love and attention, or to how we feel when we fulfill someone’s need or even when we accomplish a difficult task. We try to hold on to moments in which we feel significant, worthwhile, extraordinary – loved. But those too will pass.

After a while, it begins to feel futile because no matter how big the task, the majority of the work remains undone; no matter how big the favor, people’s needs are endless and we can never truly make anyone else happy.

So if it isn’t about doing something worthwhile and good, then what? I cannot hold on to the cup full of water anyway so why fill my hands with the moments life has to offer?

But the task of living is not about holding on, its about letting go. Its about being in the moment and immersed in its sensations and experience and allowing it to fade, seep, flow, and pass. That we have the experience of cupping the water for a moment is the gift itself, not how much water we have, nor how long we can hold on to it.

Each experience of a handful of water can be as rich and meaningful as the quality of our attention. Observe the moisture on the skin and the form the water takes as it rests for a moment. If it is on the cupped hands, notice how they bend and shape to allow the water to sit for a moment. Each exercise in allowing the water to flow through teaches us that eventually life too will flow through us, leaving us…

A hand cupped full of water is the gift of this moment, each moment.
Being in it is what living has to offer. It is its Grace.

The  narrative loosens – the story of the self, its meaning and connection with events – and what has been and what will be.  Wishing does not make it so.  And yet.  I can still feel the remnants of desire – will that fade and shrink too?  Now that the outcome has been released like a 100 colorful balloons into a faraway distance.  I held on tight and dreamed of flying with the balloons… but now I am.

Content with just Being.  Each moment pregnant with possibility.  THIS IS LIVING. Unfolding.

My unconscious drama manifests in life events until I can see clearly again.  Right now that clarity is a misty haze – I see shades and form but no details.  I see an expansive self – connected, less fearful.  A lot less expectant and imposing.  Waiting and ready for the moment to unfold and reveal the opportunities rather than chase them – altering their presence with my demands and expectations.

A voice says:  Do what’s asked of you – listen to your Truth and act.  Perhaps the moments between the doing are just as lubricated with opportunity because there is within that Stillness, a space that gives rise to Truth.

There is no right or wrong, just consequences.  Whether it’s a separation from connectedness, a malignant virus of doubt – or an expansive sense of Oneness, it depends fully on my intent.

And that is derived completely from the quality of my attention.

What is faith? What is god? Does he exist?  I don’t know…

But how I live this life is a choice.

A teenager from the High School in which I work came to me today because she missed her final exam.

Her reason was not that she did not know or understand the material, nor was she sick, or held up due to an unforeseen emergency.  It was simply that she could not cope under the stress.

Performance anxiety is a pervading sense of nervous energy gone awry.  The mind wanders here and there and everywhere that is not the present moment.  Stillness is impossible.  Being aware and responding to the context in which you find yourself is essential – but performance anxiety acts like a cue ball that scatters all the rest in various directions until each takes on a life of its own, spiralling, without purpose or direction.

It can make a person feel incompetent.  Because even though you may know the material, your scattered attention is unable to attend to the task at hand, be it making a study plan, reading a paragraph, making notes or answering an exam question.

The mind is a muscle.  Channeling your attention to where we need it to go takes time and practice.

Start with the breath. Breathe in and out. Count slowly.  Make sure your belly rises as you draw in a deep breath over 4 seconds. Hold.  Release. Bit by bit.  Pause and repeat.

Bring your attention back to your breath. When it wanders into the future, into the worry of what will happen or could happen, bring it back to Now.  Breathe.

All that you can do is respond to the moment that faces you.  Ever.  Gather your courage and bring your attention back to the Now.  What is it that is asks of you?  Your fight or flight response may be activated by the fear of what may come.  Greet this fear.  It alerts you to focus and demands of your energy.  Breathe.  And respond.

Fear is not the enemy.  Without fear, we would not know when to fight, freeze or flee. Bring your attention back to what your fear is telling you.  What is the best way in which you can expend your energy, right here, right now?  Do you need to to take a walk to calm your mind? Or put on a calming melody?  Perhaps you will wash your face or take off your shoes so the soles of your feet can feel the comforting grip of the solid, reliable ground.  Breathe.  And release.

Performance anxiety is your mind’s horsepower behaving like an a band of horses with no direction.  Powerful but purposeless.  This energy is a gift.  It is that energy that will allow you to act or withdraw, forge ahead or change direction.  Harness it.

Harnessing your mind’s energy is probably the most powerful skill one can acquire. Channelling this energy in the best way possible in the moment that stands before you is the challenge.

Start with resting your attention on your breath.  It connects the inner you with the world around you. Take in what you need.  Exhale what you don’t.

Breathe.  And release.

While misery is a faithful companion, she will sap your energy, rob your pleasure, and diminish your presence of mind.