Healing Arts

Loss
“May you learn big lessons from small mistakes…”
(thanks for sharing this prayer Alya, and thanks to your Khala who said this to you)

Loss is a death.  In life, we experience a series of losses, until the final moment of the ultimate loss, that of life itself.  The losses that hurt the most are those which tie my existence to a sense of meaning, purpose, tranquility, or control.

Depression at its worst is a state of hopeless despair, where life has no meaning beyond the debilitating pain that numbs all the senses. Disillusionment is the loss of a sense of purpose.  It is the realization that the goal for which we strive has no inherent value, it offers no sacred truth.  Conflict and tension within oneself or external forces impede a sense of tranquility – an experience of that the flow of existence is in harmony and balance.  The loss of control breeds a sense of insecurity, helplessness in the face of powerful forced beyond one’s influence.

Then there are the physical losses: that of comfort, security, pleasure, and pride.

Comfort is a state in which my perceived needs are met: the feeling that I have enough in this world, I have what I need to survive, to be okay.  That I believe that I have enough and will have enough to survive for the time to come, that is security.  My desires fulfilled bring me joy. The precious act of kissing my daughter’s cheek while she sleeps is sheer pleasure. Pride is the feeling that I am significant, that my needs matter to others.

Losses disrupt these experiences. They throw into question the integrity of my existence within a larger universe. Why am I here?  What is the value of my life?

I recognize that I had no control over my own birth nor will I decide my death.   I am left with the time in between.  How does what I do in the meantime matter?  Do I have any control at all?

At this moment, I can see things are they are. I can breathe and let go.  I can unfurl my brow and I can exhale my dark thoughts and look for beauty.  I can act fairly. I can express generous loving thoughts. I can act kindly.  I have the power to forgive my mistakes. I can recognize the limitless possibilities offered by the Universe, the unimaginable treasures that arrive so suddenly.  And I can breathe and continually strive to be better.

Life beyond loss